หากคุณ weak stomach เดินไปเลย อย่าถามเมื่อไหร่ อย่างไร แต่ผม happen to end up owning cigarette-pack-sized Android device posing as mobile phone ไม่ใช่ latest greatest Galaxies แค่ simple lower-end Android device
Article นี้จะบอก first use ของเทคโนโลยีนี้ไปอย่างไร ผมเคยมี Nokia E71 (considered smartphone) และมี Nokia E6 ตอนนี้ (almost full smartphone) แต่ไม่เคยมี popular touch-only device ในครอบครอง โอกาสเรียนรู้ Dedoimedo cope กับ buzz ของ first world ยังไง
First 10 Minutes (10 นาทีแรก)
ได้ device Wow โทรศัพท์ ใช้ 600 seconds แรก เข้า menus ต่างๆ เปลี่ยนสิ่งต่างๆ ตามชอบ เรียก stage นี้ว่า customization ในกรณีผม: remove crap shortcuts 100 useless applets define Wireless networks เพื่อไม่ bleed credit card ส่ง packets ผ่าน mobile carrier
รู้สึกยังไง? familiar with Android จาก Netbook attempt trial นี้ no different menus intuitive simple navigate ไม่ต้อง special handbook chimp could do it several billion chimps doing it daily with great delight
User interface perspective: ignoring screen size rivals left gonad Android 2.3 (OS installed) fairly easy use configure ต้อง remember less mundane settings counter ring 10 minutes sharp know everything need know End chapter Excitement level: **I couldn't care less**
Oh ผม remove useless garbage นี้ minute แรก:
Android Market (ตลาด Android)
Primary use mobile phones: make calls และ SMS บ้าง GPS functionality when possible พูด GPS intimate later แต่ถ้า take phone abroad navigate แทนจ่าย extra shillings rent-a-car system Bob's your uncle
Sony Ericsson W19 ของผมมี GPS มาพร้อม Google Maps แต่ Maps-powered GPS service **not available in my location** Thank you classifying me second-grade world citizen
ต้องการ different program preferably no network connectivity e.g. Nokia Ovi Suite free stellar program default on Nokia phones เปิด market app: **Google Play**
Must sign in to use market No problem credentials search GPS software Instantly overwhelmed available repertoire spend time searching reviews recommendations normal computer find: **virtually no GPS programs for Android that do not require network access** everyone's interest you online always spending bandwidth money Everyone's but yours
Ensuing 14 minutes search: nothing useful except **Waze** (talked about past) decent program needs network access แต่ cardinal question offline GPS unresolved found potential candidates topic another time
I Want to Sign Off (ผมอยาก Sign Out)
Done market ไป Accounts menu attempt sign off อะไรที่ผมทำทุกครั้งหลังใช้ online account/service Google หรือ otherwise Only **no Sign off button anywhere**
How about Remove account? มี option ลอง Google บอก: applications using my account cannot remove without reset device factory defaults Plot thickens
The Conundrum (ปัญหาที่ยุ่งยาก)
Let me begin: following paragraphs **not about Big Brother** trust Google หรือไม่ หากไมไว้ใจ ไม่ใช้ services ของพวกเขา period Privacy, security: **bullshit**
สิ่งที่ annoying จริง: **ไม่มี choice to sign off** นั่นคือสิ่งที่ pissed me off ไม่ใช่ use of data geo-location angered me: lack of choice want to exercise right to sign off หรือ alternatively remove account without difficulty full add/remove หากมี option นี้ article ไม่เกิดขึ้น ผม likely sign in later left at that satisfied new chimp เหมือนบอก teenagers can't drink so they do opposite Google gave option sign off I wouldn't not immediately but down the road warmed up to voluntary molestation The paradox
So is this how it's gonna be fine Let's exercise some force
How to Remove My Primary Account (วิธีลบบัญชีหลักของผม)
ใช้ 9 hours search tutorials disable primary account 2 kinds articles: root device then do as you please และ crap most articles including endless Youtube clips completely inaccurate useless one-man shows worse than not created wasted time
ไม่ได้ rid primary account conventional methods sensible thing: gaining root Linux the shit out of little device
Root Canal (รูทแคนาล - ทำรูท)
Before root: connect to other device (laptop) install Java, Android SDK nonsense run popular root-busting programs hope for best
Almost failed connect W19 to Windows หรือ Linux box Windows complain missing drivers after 6th attempt install mediocre Sony Ericsson PC Companion device recognized properly Linux worse no distro detect Android as raw device MTP protocol manually adding udev rules no avail Android connectivity on Linux nil
Back Windows execute SuperOneClick tool always stuck remount stage rooting attempts unsuccessful
One sensible thing: **reset device to factory defaults**
Post-trauma (หลังโชคชะตา)
No contacts backups naturally PC Companion sync address book với contacts Outlook Why Outlook? Why want hundreds/thousands people accidentally wormed into mail client added to phone? Friend's machine corporate computer? Ctrl+A everyone?
Other functionalities equally bad did nothing useful before reset manually adding fifty contacts by hand one by one touch virtual keyboard no feedback no chance semi-blind typing
Completed step + standard customization created two fresh new accounts Facebook and Google one each junk accounts for occasions aggressive services must have credentials but not associated real productivity accounts For spam spam = protecting me from spam not other way around
Configured Facebook account primary added Google account top so removable whenever want Always connected? Here's what I say, Linus style:
The Sad Truth (ความจริงที่เศร้า)
Really sad thing: Nokia E6 แม้มี touch capability allows use phone with cursor และ full physical keyboard best of both worlds type faster maybe without looking keyboard buttons marked English, Chinese, Hebrew (not need other two but still) interface far more intuitive GPS free offline mode USB plug-n-play PC suite breeze compared Android sync contacts only do it done sync everything done choose what/how manage device quick simple pain-free not Outlook or online
Remain unsigned into any service if not wish or go online entirely your choice Battery life way way longer E6 almost 10 days no recharge Android needs energy every 2 days even network data/Wireless disabled most time Sad truth: Nokia failing while locked-down crap Android/iPhone all the rage Idiocracy every sense arrived bit before year 2500 predicted
More: cannot remove most preinstalled apps locked in hundred flavors of diarrhea most programs shareware or ad banners bottom screen Would you allow this on desktop? Surely not adware/spyware but mobile device revolution rivaled by Polio vaccine
That's reality dear readers
สรุป
Elegant way to put it? Probably not But tried brave new technology **nothing, I repeat nothing, nothing at all useful about it** Not a single thing Laud people developing code squeeze stuff tiny devices appreciate global effort bring people together tailored services individuals everywhere BUT integration = head-on collision 250 kph spike-studded wall
Smartphones **utter and utmost dreck** (ขยะะ) too small, too slow, too crippled, too locked down not even useful weapon against attackers (note: Nokia titanium casing) plastic brick metal no purpose Want phone better alternatives No offline GPS buy one save 400-dollar bills vacation Want games play proper PC Want camera get decent one Can't even watch pr0n smartphones screens tiny pity Imagine Internet device no pr0n Oh humanity!
Truly wonder what morons see in this garbage How delighted about something monumentally flawed beats me Oh yes move finger up/down left/right Big fucking deal Chimps use tools too Browse OMG Revelation 4 inches screen equity plus ads What a deal
If gave mediocre children false attention love each grow Einsteins Don't forget feces stains originate from use devices while voiding bowels add overall health flavor
Please please universe cosmic gamma ray burst any day now
Cheers.
